Eastbound & Down Please Go Away

So Danny McBride is back on "Eastbound & Down" sorry I'm a bit late but let's be honest this show fucking stinks.

I'm going to start off with a couple positives:

Katy Mixon looks like she lost 3 pounds, perhaps she rocked the elliptical with zero resistance once a week for a couple months.

They play a Black Keys song in the beginning of the first episode. (Which I am watching as I write this)

I'm pretty sure this season will remain in the United States which means there will be a lot less room for cheap, quasi racist, phoned in jokes based around Kenny Powers just BEING in Mexico.

That's all I can think of right now so far, granted I haven't even finished the first episode. The part about "Eastbound & Down" that kills me is that it was so great in the first season. Perhaps I am recalling the show with rose colored glasses but I remember powering through the first season in a weekend and loving every minute of it. I also remember suffering through the second season and contemplating canceling my HBO subscription. It was as if the writers gave up, realizing they would make enough money on chubby college kids buying goofy t shirts and the show would stay afloat based entirely on poorly constructed catch phrases.

This season seems like it will be even worse than season two. The jury is still out as I have 2.5 episodes to watch.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention Kenny is now playing on a team in Myrtle Beach South Carolina and Jason Sudeikis is on the team with a hacky Southern accent. I'm shuddering as I write this.

The thing about this foolish show that kills me the most is the fact that it survived when so many other great shows did not. The episode is concluding right now with Danny McBride and Katy Mixon fighting a redneck couple at a mini-golf course.

I have zero hope for this series but I guarantee it wont be cancelled for at least two more seasons.

ANK

Parks and Recreation featuring Louis C.K.

So I have been on board with "Parks and Recreation" this entire season and have been loving it so far. I am very late to the party as this is their fourth season and the show seems to just continue to do well. It has a loyal following and a number of award nominations and I generally laugh out loud at least once every time I watch, which is big for me. Their most recent episode featured a cameo from Louis C.K. who is without question one of the funniest comedians performing currently. Needless to say I was very excited when I turned on my DVR-ed episode this morning and saw his face. I anticipated a hilarious episode and sadly I was let down.

Louis C.K. is a phenomenal comedian and a decent actor in his roles on "Louie" and "Lucky Louie" (when playing himself). However this latest "Parks and Recreation" episode missed the mark big time. I found Louis' character to be flat and unbelievable and it was really hard developing any sort of feeling about him either positive or negative. The entire episode dragged to the point where I just cooked my breakfast and stopped paying attention.

My theory here is that as of late NBC has been going out of their way to be the edgy network TV station. CBS has their formulaic cop shows and fucking Sheenless "Two and a Half Men", ABC has the now vomit inducing fallen from grace "Modern Family", "The Bachelor", and now "The River" which I shut off, and NBC wants to make people believe that they're like FX or even HBO and get some cool young hip viewers. In the past year NBC has debuted the pathetically edgeless "Whitney", "Chelsea Lately", "Two Broke Girls" and now this most recent episode of a show that works and works well but just totally bombed with the edgiest comedian around. Louis C.K. toned down, out from behind the mic, and molded into an NBC character isn't funny and never will be. I can imagine him trying to ad-lib lines about his cock and NBC executives getting really nervous and begging him to stick to the script. It's tragic that the episode didn't work because I truly love the show but this one just missed.

A few other things I didn't like about the latest episode of "Parks and Recreation"

1. Aziz Ansari's singing/annoying baby talk voice/general attitude (in this episode and the last one)

2. Adam Scott acting like a total pussy

3. Not enough Ron

4. Rashida Jones getting work because she's Quincy Jones' daughter

ANK

Netflix is Making Moves

Netflix hasn't had the greatest year in terms of subscriber loss due to their plan to charge a separate fee for streaming video and DVDs. So I guess it makes sense for them to do two of the awesomest things I've heard in a long time.

1. "Lilyhammer": The new Netflix Streaming exclusive show starring Steven Van Zandt. Steven was on Howard Stern today promoting "Lilyhammer" which premiers on Netflix next week. In the show Steven will reprise his role as a mafia hit man (not Sil) who has been placed in the witness protection program. After watching the trailer I learned that Steven's character on the show requests to be placed in Lillehammer which is a town in Norway and home to the '94 Winter Olympics. As you can imagine it seems to be a terrific fish out of water story and should be entertaining as hell. I'm a huge fan of Steven's, he was one of my favorite characters on the Sopranos, and I cannot wait to check out his performance in his own vehicle on February 6th. I am also very curious to see how well received it is due to it being Netflix' first original program. Watch the trailer with the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfRgVbp9gSY

2. Arrested Development: I couldn't possibly be happier about this. Netflix has picked up the rights to stream the new season of "Arrested Development" for it's triumphant return in 2013. The entire original cast is back and it's going to be amazing. The show was cancelled back in 2006 after 3 seasons. It is one of those shows that just crushed fans when it was cancelled and the fact that it is returning is just outstanding. I am just learning of this today but will anxiously await the new episodes when they premier. Here's a link to an article in the Chicago Tribune from today about it:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/sns-rt-us-arresteddevelopmenttre80u1lg-20120131,0,902553.story

ANK

We don't need an Office spinoff.

I read the news online yesterday that NBC is in talks with Rainn Wilson aka Dwight Schrute from "The Office" about developing a spinoff based around Dwight and his beet farm Schrute Farms. Needless to say I was displeased as I am a rampant cynic and loathe cheesy network attempts to revive dead plot lines and characters.

The show is projected to air midseason 2013, and Paul Lieberstein aka Toby (also from "The Office") is involved in development and I imagine it'll be a steaming pile of horse shit. I'm sure it will have the worst promos known to man featuring Rainn with his big goofy head that makes me want to crack it open with a hammer. If you fail to share these feelings with me watch "The Rocker" and you will be on the same page.

There's no deal inked yet and the show is not a guarantee but if it does get made I envision it testing well because most people have horrible taste when it comes to television. The things that irks me the most about this spinoff idea is that "The Office" has clearly jumped the shark, James Spader is ok at best, and the show has really not been funny since Michael Scott (Steve Carell) left. So why the hell is NBC not working to make "The Office" funny again? It's also projected that "The Office" will in fact be returning next year for another laugh-less season. Perhaps we'll really luck out and Pam and Jim will have another quirky fucking kid.

I am a James Spader supporter, and I do find his character amusing, but the kind of role I expect him to play is his role in the movie "Crash" (the original nothing to do with the Oscar winner) starring Holly Hunter. It's a movie about people who have a strange sexual fetish that involves having sex near the scene of fatal car accidents. The concept is fucked, the cast is cool, the movie is way under the radar, and it's awesome. That's the kind of Spader I am interested in. His role as Robert California on "The Office" just doesn't make sense, kind of like Kathy Bates didn't make sense with her hacky Southern accent and her stupid dogs. They've both been stand-ins with about as much permanence as a henna tattoo.

I feel like NBC has some great shows "Parks and Recreation" uhhhh yeah that's kind of it. (I also secretly like "The Voice") Take a look at NBC's roster and tell me if you actually enjoy any of these garbage shows.

http://www.nbc.com/shows/

List of ways NBC could make "The Office" funny again.

1. Jim kills Pam and then himself.

2. Michael Scott comes back but every episode is based around his improv class and he writes, directs, and stars in "Threat Level Midnight II".

3. Kevin narrates every episode.

4. Creed becomes the boss and gets his own spinoff called "Creedence".

5. Ryan and Kelly become the main focus of the show and Kelly gets pregnant.

6. Todd Packer (David Koechner) is in every single episode drinking heavily.

ANK

House of Lies: Episode 3 Review

Another Sunday night of Showtime, another delivery of awesomeness from House of Lies.  I knew I would like this show because I never got tired of the "Big Balls" promo that ran all through fall and mid-winter during Dexter and Homeland.  Thankfully, it has yet to disappoint.

This episode brought a nice twist into the mix, with Greg Norbert reemerging at Galweather & Stearn with the shitastic news that they were buying the firm and privatizing their consulting.  Basically, he wanted to throw a gigantic middle finger into Marty's face for the events of episode 1.  You know: Marty meets stripper, brings stripper to business dinner, stripper pleasures client's wife in bathroom, chaos to follow.  As intriguing as their character dynamic may be, I think I'll get sick of Norbert very quick if he keeps trying to outsmart the great white shark that is Marty Kaan.

I absolutely love Marty's sidekicks, Doug and Clyde.  Their friend/relationship is hilarious and it's fun to see everyone ride Doug's ass about being such a square.  Jeannie (Bell) is a solid female counter to Marty, but she has yet to pull me in.  And I'm still waiting on that lingerie, ass-shaking scene from all the promos, cause those gave me half a chub.

One thing I really dig about this show is it's consistent story arc; funnyfunnyfunny until the final moments, which give us more dramatic insight into Marty and what he thinks about himself and his career.  With the threat of Galweather's board partnering with MetroCaptial, Marty's job is in jeopardy due to his destructive nature and closing tactics.  Skip and Marty's conversation on the balcony made it clear that Norbert wants Marty gone and Skip seems to want to do little to prevent that.  The shot of Marty's face as he speeds along in the stolen car was telling of how unstable he is.

I could literally gush for hours about Lies, it's an amazing show with an interesting and new concept, as well as some unique cinematography (though nothing will ever beat Breaking Bad's).  Nevertheless, Showtime continually knocks it out of the park.

Score: 10 out of 10

Are You Havin A Go?

This is my first article in a little while. I would say that I have been busy but that just doesnt sound right, lets keep going with 'Im really lazy'. I've actually been seeing alot of movies recently, to the point where I'm dangerously close to seeing Red Tails because ive seen everything else. I'm clearly losing my mind. Also if you would be interested in reading my thoughts on movies that I see, let me know and I may make your dreams a reality. I'd like to start by addressing the huge cliffhangers from the end of my last article that I'm sure havent left your thoughts for more than a moment these past weeks:

Am I an Archer guy? (Do I watch the show Archer?) The answer is yes. I didnt like this show at first because I thought the animation style was weird and I kind of just wrote it off. I've only seen 2 or 3 episodes now but the show is very watchable and witty and has some great voice talents. Watch it

Does Sliders hold up? No. It fucking stinks.

Recently I decided to take the month off Netflix because I didnt feel like paying for it and I watch it too much anyway. My television sickness then led me to Hulu where I happened upon Peep Show, a charming british series that is currently in its seventh season. It is a low budget comedy about two flatmates (British for roommates) bumbling through their lives. There is Mark (the straight man) and Jeremy (the wildcard). Both great characters and great actors playing them. I'm watching the 3rd episode of Season 1 as i type this. Mark just showed up to a party with a bag full of beers and is drinking by himself on the couch, watching Jeremy hit on chicks. He thinks his best chance at getting laid is if the girl Jeremy brings home accidentally walks into his room after using the bathroom. I'm only 3 episodes in and it just seems to be a show about these 2 getting into situations but I really like it. In between the dialogue, Mark and Jeremys thoughts can be heard. When this happens it is always very funny, personal, helps make them real and is not forced. It is what makes the show. The humor (humour?) is ridiculously dry and the story lines are simple and funny. I recommend you give it a shot if any of this sounds good to you. I love discovering a new show that has several seasons in the can, I have hours of this show to power through at my leisure. Ill write more when I have seen more, but this show is the real deal.

Another show I recently watched was another British entry: Life's Too Short, from Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, who created the original The Office and also Extras. Both amazing in my opinion, I had high hopes for this new show. The show is VERY british with a nice, simple pun of a title. The show features the actor Warwick Davis playing a version of himself that is basically a miniature David Brent from the Office. Delusional, pompous, desperately trying to look cool but failing at every turn. Whereas David Brent was all these things and somehow managed to be lovable, Warwick Davis just kind of annoyed me. He had some good moments here and there and is clearly not afraid of a good pratfall or cheap height joke, but this didnt need to be a series. Gervais and Merchant pop by once an episode playing versions of themselves that share not only an office but a desk, and appear to do nothing but entertain the notions of their clients who they cant stand. I expected more from this show. I can only recommend this to people who like 'cringe humor' type shows like The Office UK or Curb Your Enthusiasm, but with this show the cringe element is taken too far at times and just isnt funny or surprising. Like their other show Extras, this show is celebrity-cameo heavy. These cameos are probably the best sections of the show, Liam Neeson's attempt at stand up comedy was legendary.

Alright thats all for now. Thanks for reading, see you out there. Cliffhanger: Am I the new lead writer on Franklin & Bash?

House of Lies: Episode 2 Review

Another Sunday, another great episode of House of Lies.  I was a little skeptical after the series premiere, wondering if all the fourth wall, consulting jargon, lavishly over-the-top antics of the show would hold water, but here we are at episode two and I am hooked.  Marty and his team of associates are truly what holds this show together; they're relentless back and forth banter is hysterical and natural.  My two favorites are Doug (Josh Lawson) and Clyde (Ben Schwartz); Doug is painfully but hilariously awkward while Clyde is surprisingly suave and sharp.  Schwartz brings mannerisms to his character that could definitely draw comparisons to Andrew Garfield's portrayal of Eduardo Saverin in The Social Network.

The episode brought us Marty's team heading down to Phoenix, consulting with the divided (and married) owners of a basketball team.  While it was fun to watch them go to work with bringing the organization and its money back together, by far the best scene was Doug's interaction with Cat Deeley, of So You Think You Can Dance fame.  The whole segment culminated with his missed opportunity to get her number, while simultaneously filling his underpants with some not-so-lovely juice.  Women: 1, Doug: 0.

While the show primarily covers humor, the final scene brought in some serious drama with Marty's son, who's more than a little confused about his gender, asking him what a fudge-packer is.  Being bullied is a common issue in today's schools, it was interesting to see the show bring in some real world elements to its standard fiction.  How, as a parent, do you handle that question?  It will be intriguing to see how Marty deals with it, as he clearly loves his son unconditionally, but the same cannot be said for his devilish ex-wife, Monica.

All in all, this show is really shaping up to be another Showtime powerhouse, right in place with Homeland.  Next week's episode is sure to please, catch it Sunday at 10 after Shameless.

Score: 9 out of 10

Southland Premier

So I was out the other night and I happened to bump into a fan of TV Guys and he gave me some fantastic and constructive criticism for the blog; apparently I've been a bit negative as of late and the people would like to hear about a show I enjoy and that they may not have heard of. So today I write about a show that premiers tonight that I have loved since the beginning. "Southland's" 4th season premiers tonight on TNT at 10 pm and here's why you need to tune in if you aren't already planning on doing so.

"Southland" premiered in the spring of 2009 to large viewership on NBC and made it through its entire first season successfully developing a large fan base. NBC execs decided to pick up "Southland" for a second 13 episode season to premier in the fall of 2010. After they began production of the first few episodes (6 in fact), NBC previewed them and decided that they were far too "gritty" for the 9pm Thursday time slot and that"Southland" no longer had a place in the NBC family. This was in my humble opinion a horrible move. Long story short soon after the NBC cancellation TNT began negotiations to grab this show and that's where it airs now and it's great.

"Southland" is the story of a group of Los Angeles police officers on the job and it plays out almost like the "reality" show "COPS". A lot of hand-held camera, bleeped out profanity, and tons and tons of action. I give "Southland" two thumbs up.

It has an interesting cast made up of the likes of Ryan from "The O.C." (ugh) aka Ben McKenzie who is actually one of the best characters, C. Thomas Howell (my personal favorite), Regina King, and Shawn Hatosy (who seems to be getting all kinds of work).

The show is fast paced, action packed, and thrilling, and you find yourself lost in each episode invested in what actually happens to the characters, not just in the line of duty but in their personal lives as well. One character has a serious drug problem, one has issues with his marriage, and the list goes on and on.

If you're a fan don't forget to tune in to "Southland" tonight at 10 pm on TNT, if you're not set your DVR and give this show a chance because it's awesome.

Here are a couple reasons why "Southland" beats the shit out of SVU/CSI procedural type cop shows.

1. Every episode is completely different without formula.

2. The characters aren't douche bags.

3. The dialogue is realistic.

4. There are always multiple intertwining plot lines and not just an entire police force unrealistically trudging the path of the same boring case looking for semen.

ANK

Are you there, Chelsea? It's me cancelled.

What a fucking abomination this show is. I took in the pilot episode Thursday night and if this show doesn't get cancelled mid season I will shave my eyebrows off and eat nothing but Burger King for a decade.

Chelsea Handler's schtick has run its course. We get it, you're quirky and opinionated and a bit crass, that doesn't translate to a funny sitcom. I must say this is the worst piece of shit I have seen on television this year. But like I said to Scott the other day I'm going down with the ship, I plan on taking in every single episode.

The show stars Laura Prepon from "That 70's Show" as Chelsea and Chelsea plays Laura's sister Sloan. The premise is absurd, the characters are awful, and the jokes are all completely mailed in. I'd love to be a fly on a wall during a table read for this show. I bet it's just a group of smarmy assholes chuckling at their own cynicism.

Here's a list of my main complaints about "Are you there, Chelsea?"

1. Lenny Clark: (who I have seen live and love as a standup) plays Laura Prepon's father. Thought Lenny was phenomenal on "Rescue Me", he was funnier when he was fat, but he's great even without the weight. My complaint is that his ridiculously thick accent makes him unbelievable as Laura's father. Lenny Clark is Boston, his accent makes it hard to really take him seriously on the show and it's all I can think about whenever he's in any scene.

2. NBC: feeling the need to shove Laura Prepon into the show to make it more marketable. I'm 28 years old, I am right in the meat of the key demographic for this show and I get that seeing a person my age as the main cast member might make this show more relatable to me. I however do not believe that it's necessary. Chelsea Handler has her moments she's clever enough, not my favorite but she is hardly (as of the pilot) the focus of the show at all. I don't think Laura Prepon is funny and in my opinion she hasn't really found anything that was a great fit for her beyond "Slackers" and "That 70's Show".

3. The token little person: I feel like this guy is going to be a big part of the show and I find it upsetting. The guy's name is Mark Povinelli, he gets work all over Hollywood from "Modern Family" to "Boardwalk Empire" and now he's part of the NBC family. Already in the pilot episode "Are you there, Chelsea?" has managed to make a mockery of the fact that he is vertically challenged and not even in a clever way. I foresee Mark's character being awful and all the jokes based around him being equally awful. Cheap short jokes aren't funny.

4. The quirky Whitney Cummings/Chelsea Handler NBC promos that are all over the place: I love Whitney Cummings I think she's funny, sexy, and a smart business woman when it comes to making the right career moves in Hollywood, but I look forward to these promos going away. I think both of their shows stink and have lousy casts and for some reason "Whitney" is succeeding (I credit Chris D'Elia). Perhaps it's because schmucks like me watch the show even though they don't enjoy it.

My prediction is that "Are you there Chelsea?" will not make it. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.

ANK

Shameless Season Premiere Review

Shameless was definitely up there for me as pleasant surprises from last year (next to Game of Thrones of course).  I knew William H. Macy would be genius, but had my reservations about Jason Chatwin and Emmy Rossum, especially after sitting through the likes of Dragonball: Evolution.

But Season 1 was nothing short of amazing.  It was dark, it was downright hilarious, and absolutely unethical.  When it ended, I could not wait for the next season to come and finally, that day arrived.

Season 2 picks up in the summer, so a few months after the finale of Season 1.  Steve is gone (for now); Fiona is working with Veronica; Kevin and Lip are growing and selling weed; Ian is still trying to find himself; Debbie and Karl are maturing; lastly, Sheila is actually walking outside.  The characters we fell in love with are still themselves, except you can see the tiny changes in their characters from last season.  (I was a little sad to see Jane Levy permanently jump ship to ABC's Suburgatory, I figure the character of Mandy will be slowly written out using this new replacement, Emma Greenwell.)

Frank was getting into his usual drunken shit: stealing baby Liam to beg for change, then letting him get held for ransom by thugs that he lost a bet to in The Alibi.  One of my favorite things is seeing Frank go on rants at the bar to no one in particular, as Kevin just silently refills his pints without listening.  Macy nails the alcoholic father routine very well, the guy deserves an Emmy.  Speaking of Emmy's, Rossum is amazingly hot.  She's got the Plain Jane, girl-next-door-look down to a T and works it.  But, call me sappy, I want Steve back in her life.  The two of them together is both toxic and funny; they make each other happy and crazy at the same time.  I'm excited for whenever he comes back from Costa Rica to sweep her off her feet again.

And will someone please run Tony out of town?  His whole obsessive love for Fiona thing ran its course last season, and now it's just sad.  Check out Shameless on Showtime, Sundays at 9.  I'll be reviewing it all season, so stay tuned.

House of Lies = House of Fun

Last night was a great night for Showtime, with Shameless premiering for its sophomore season and the series premiere of House of Lies.  I will touch on Shameless later, but for now let's talk about House of Lies.

Starring Don Cheadle as managing consultant Marty Kaan, the show follows him and his team as they swindle big corporations into paying them ridiculous amount of money for work they "don't even need."  It brings to mind the idea of the 1% sticking it to the 1%, gleefully taking money and cutting throats along the way.

One thing I really like about the show is Kaan breaking the fourth wall; for those unfamiliar with the term, it means making direct contact with the audience.  At many points in the show, the frame would freeze while Kaan explained his motives or thoughts to viewers (think Dexter, but less overkill and stupidity).  Personally, I know next to nothing about business management and consulting, so it's nice to see the show take the time to explain the little things in order to simplify the dialogue and plot.  Sometimes, the cuts themselves were a little jarring, but I think we can chalk that up to it being a pilot episode.

The cast itself is great: Cheadle is masterful as the clever, funny and troubled Kaan.  I like Kristen Bell when she's full of confidence, which she has miles of playing Jeannie, the engagement manager.  The team is rounded out by two associates, played by Ben Schwartz and Josh Lawson, who provide excellent side commentary and compliment the intense personalities of Marty and Jeannie.

The premiere was hilarious and provided great insight to the show's potential.  I definitely look forward to more episodes.  It's very nice to have Sunday Shows back after the likes of Dexter, Homeland and Boardwalk Empire ended last month.  Look for House of Lies, airing Sundays at 10 on Showtime, as well as reviews by yours truly.

Californication is back

Words cannot express how much I have enjoyed "Californication" for the past four seasons. If that were truly the case why I'd be attempting to write a blog entry about it is beyond me.

I just watched the promo for the first time and from what I saw it appears that Hank Moody (David Duchovny) is back with a fucking vengeance. If you're a fan of the show you know all about how season 4 came to a close. I will spare the major details for those of you who have seen them and those who'd like to, but basically Hank got a probationary slap on the wrist after a statutory rape conviction. To explain that as quickly as possible; Hank is in a book store, he meets a girl played by Madeline Zima of "The Nanny" fame and sleeps with her as he so often does, turned out she was 17, yadda yadda yadda Hank got arrested, yadda yadda yadda there's a movie about it being made written by Hank with characters playing both Hank and Madeline (Mia on the show).

Season 5 episode 1 is entitled "JFK to LAX" and the promo conveys that Hank has spent his probation in New York and is returning to LA to resume being the coolest guy on the planet. There are a number of reasons that Hank Moody gives me a semi, he's an awesome writer who plays by his own rules, he smokes constantly, he's a babe magnet, and he rocks the shit out of black t-shirt in every episode.

Now a short list of things I don't like about "Califnorication" because being excessively positive makes my teeth sting:

1. Natascha McElhone the actress who plays Karen, Hank Moody's on again off again wife and mother to his daughter Becca (Madeleine Martin). I find her unsettling and I don't like the idea that Hank has a permanent place in his heart for her. Karen's portion of the story is rarely exciting and I feel this resonates throughout the entire show. Scenes she's in drag and her eyes are creepy and large like a Western Screech Owl. (I googled that)

2. Madeleine Martin the actress who plays Becca, Hank and Karen's daughter. In my opinion she was poorly cast, she never elevates any scenes, she's unnecessarily quirky, and everything she says and does feels forced. She's the type of person that would judge you based on your ipod play list while wearing a tattered Ramones t-shirt and pontificating about the days when music was good (before she was conceived).

3. Hank drives around for 3 seasons (I think its 3) with a broken headlight on his Porsche. I really don't understand why he wouldn't just get it fixed.

All in all "Californication" has solidified itself in my top 5 shows currently on television and it will stay there no matter what happens this season. I wish the show was 3 hours long and each season was 39 episodes. If you haven't checked it out you should certainly do so when it airs this Sunday night on Showtime at 10:30.

Here is my top five shows currently on television (to put it in order would stress me out)

1. Californication

2. Breaking Bad

3. Dexter

4. Curb Your Enthusiasm

5. Mad Men (very late to the party but already a huge fan, thanks Netflix)

ANK